Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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