There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
