I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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