The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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