I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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