he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
