We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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