She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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