I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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