Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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