Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
