I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
