i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
