I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
