I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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