He is an equal opportunity slut.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
