I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
