I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
