the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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