I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
