dude i'm inner monologue high
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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