HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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