I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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