Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
