They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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