escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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