She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
