Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
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I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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