You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
