I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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