guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
