And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
