I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
