I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
