i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize