I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
