some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
