i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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