just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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