so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
