Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
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I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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