I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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