I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
