i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.