Is that why you're texting me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?