school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I sprained my soul last night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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