After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia