so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.