The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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