just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Randomize
