you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
