well you can't waste a boner
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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