Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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