just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
