i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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