just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
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Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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