Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
